It's been a couple of months since the revelation and I still find myself in shock and disbelief. When you've been with someone for 18 years, you'd think you knew how your spouse would react to situations. I'm in disbelief that my husband would abandon me, with no sense of remorse of the affair, and actually try to make me feel I'm at fault because I protected my self in filing for divorce. It's twisted and it makes me feel sick. I'm grieving and going thru many stages simultaneously. There is a part of me that wants to ring his balls to the wall and the other have of me can't believe he would do this to me. I do love this man. I can't pin point in this moment to rationalize this thought, but all I can say it has to do with being together for 18 years.
There is so much history between us and now it is if I have never known this man before. He has already admitted to the affair but he now wants to say that I condone it for the first five days. This man must be smoking crack. I'm so insulted and once again I can't believe he would stoop to this point. There is no shame what so ever.
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